Leaving on a Jet Plane

Just gotta get through the next 20 minutes and then I'm FREE until the 27th! 
Just gotta get through the next 20 minutes and then I can go get Mystic Tanned!
Just gotta get through the next 20 minutes and then I'm 20 minutes closer to being on vacation! 

See y'all in a while! 

Friendship - Elementary Style

I went out to lunch today with a new work friend.  She is very sarcastic and dry and a little bit grumpy in a Dorothy Zbornack sort of way.  I like her.  She’s my kind of people. 

But going out to lunch with a new friend is a nerve-wracking thing.  Almost like a first date.  Interacting at work, we mutually and wordlessly agreed that we would probably make good friends.  And so an invitation was made and accepted.  But then the anxiety sets in.  What if we don’t have anything to talk about?  What if we have NOTHING in common except sarcasm?  Sarcasm in a friendship is important, but it will only take you so far.  I felt like I had signed up for the Friendship version of It’s Just Lunch. 

It was cool, though.  She’s funny, we had lots to talk about.  She’s a “good-at-getting-to-know-you” type of person.  She’s my first new friend in a while, so I’m a little out of practice.  I’ve gotten really bad at just working through the day and eating at my desk.  I have to change this habit. 

Anyway, it got me to thinking. 

Why can’t it just be like when we were kids?  You’d find someone at recess, hanging upside down on the monkey bars just like you like to do!  You wouldn’t say a word, you’d just climb up there and hang upside down, too…  The conversation likely FINALLY started just as the blood was rushing to your head and probably went something like this:

“My cat’s name is Kitty.”

“Well, I have a goldfish.”

Once these formal introductions were over, you would then proceed to show off your best tricks to one another, still without talking.  Because, really, who can have quality conversation when your dress is hanging down over your head (you always hated that your mom made you wear shorts underneath, but had to admit it was better than everyone seeing your Wonder Woman underwear). 

The bell would ring, you’d both do some sort of trick dismount and then run to the classroom. 

The friendship would then be solidified at lunch, when it was time to line up and march to the cafeteria.  You’d race to get in line behind your monkey bars friend and hope that when it was time to sit down with your tray, you wouldn’t get separated by the end of the table.  (Many friendships end this way, you know)

“Chocolate milk is my favorite.”

“Mine, too!”

“I’ll trade my apples for your pudding.”

And THAT is how best friends are made. 

Dear Sawyer,

Well, you're a couple of weeks into your sixth month, and you've really been busy.  On top of being in the beginning stages of crawling, you've really broadened your horizons and developed some new hobbies.

Like chewing talking on the phone....



...reading...

....yoga (I'm very impressed by your mastery of Downward Facing Dog)...

...and, of course, keeping up to date with your Twitter account.  

You've also been occupied with getting over your first "real" illness.  Bronchiolitis is a BEAST.  Just so you're fully informed, those vague instructions from the doctor for the albuterol may or may not have been the reason that you were a little on the jittery side that first day.  Sorry about that.  It won't happen again. 

And don't get me started on that amoxicillin crap.  I don't care HOW pink it is and HOW MUCH it smells like bubble gum, it is still as nauseating now as it was when I was a kid.  So, if you won't hold having the jitters against me, I won't hold it against you that you projectile vomited on me two nights in a row. 

So are we good? 

Quarantine, Or, "What I Do With My Time When I'm Stuck At Home with Two Sick Kids"

Well, this is Day Two of being stuck at home with two sick kids.  Cold for one, bronchiolitis for the other.  Unfortunately, the one with the bronchiolitis is Sawyer.  I have to give him albulterol with a spacer that I have to hold over his mouth.  Every four hours.  Before you ask, Yes, this is as fun as it sounds.  The older one is just puny with a cough and fever and is so pitiful, I've let him watch TV pretty much non-stop since yesterday morning.  I'm the BEST mom. 

Except for when Phineas and Ferb has been on (I challenge anyone to find a better show on TV!), I've been forced to curl up in the fetal position mentally and find a happy place.  This happy place has given me a lot of time to ponder the really important questions in life.   Questions like, "Are Sandra and Ryan really getting it on?", "When will Brangelina finally do us all a favor and break up?", and, most importantly, "Did LiLo really break probation while she was in Betty Ford and can she actually be sober?!?!"

Let's tackle important issue Numero Uno, well..... first.  Now, as soon as Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johannson split, I told Michael, "He should hook up with Sandra Bullock."  Michael tried to argue that she's too old for him, but I know my celebrity history.  If Ryan Gosling wasn't too young for The Ultimate Cougar when he was 19, why on EARTH would Ryan Reynolds be too young for her at 34?  Apparently, they spent New Years Eve together.  Yeah, yeah, it was in a group.  But if I were her publicist (or his), I'd say, "Sure, go ahead and date, but for the love of all things Hollywood, DO NOT DO IT WITHOUT A COVER."  So, in my opinion, the fact that they went in a group is a sure sign that they're doing it. 

I'm tired of being teased with Angelina and Brad Break Up Stories.  Do it already.  Two actors that I really enjoyed separately have lost all credibility with me together.  Remember Bennifer?  The combo name that started it all.  When Ben Affleck went down that bumpy road we call JLo, he just suddenly seemed smarmy.  And no longer like that dude you wanted to go have a beer with.  When people's fame becomes bigger than any of the work that they do, it's time to quit it.  Brad and Angelina, at one time, were just really good actors that I thoroughly enjoyed watching.  They could blend into a move and be a part of it.  Now they ARE the movie.  Could you imagine Brad Pitt in Seven now?  Or Angelina in Girl, Interrupted?  No, because they'd overshadow the movie itself.  And then there's the self-righteousness of it all.  If I thought for one second that all the adoptions and charitable giving weren't for show, I wouldn't be bitchy about it.  But it just doesn't ring sincere when people are so public with their "good deeds."  They just bug me.  And they need to stop it. 

And, finally, Lindsay.  Oh, dear Lindsay.  I have to admit that I enjoy the spectacle of it all.  The jail, the courtroom, the FU on the fingernails....  We all love a good train wreck, so long as nobody gets hurt.  That's why Britney was so much fun.  Until she shaved her head and locked herself in a bathroom with one of the chitlins.  Then shit got REAL, she got straightened out, and now I actually like her, where before I couldn't really stand her....  At least with Blohan, I liked her before the downward spiral.  I mean, who doesn't LOVE Mean Girls?  "It's like I have ESPN or something."  She needs to get back to doing the good stuff.  And by good stuff, I mean movies and not drugs.  But, maybe nobody will hire her junkie butt and that would be a tragedy.  I mean, we could be looking at the next Robert Downey, Jr.  But with boobies.

Yes, these are the things I've thought about for two days. 

I never said I was deep or anything. 

It's a Start.

New year!  New blog…..   I’m Kim and with my husband Michael and two sons, Lucas and Sawyer – we are the Korn family - like the vegetable, but with K.   Or depending on your age and interest in music - like the and. 

Michael and I have been married now for 6 years, together for 7.  Lucas James was born in September 2006 and Sawyer Bailey Dawson (yes, it’s a mouthful, but he’s probably our last and we wanted to use our moms’ maiden names) was born in June of this year.  We live in Portland, OR.  I’m a transplant from Oklahoma (8 years ago), Michael was born and raised here.  I love the Sooners, he loves the Ducks.  But despite that, we actually still like each other.  I turned 35 in October and am grappling with the idea that I’m no longer part of the core demographic of 18-34. 

What?  You want to hear about my kids?  Well, I suppose it’s only fair to admit that Sawyer is, in fact, a genius and has been crawling for a few weeks now.  Okay, so not crawling 100%, but it's almost there.  And he's STILL a genius.  Lucas NEVER STOPS DOING THINGS and ALWAYS HAS IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY.  He’s funny (he’s a genius, too) and he doesn't spit up nearly as much as the other one.  Oh, and did I mention how darn cute they are?  No?  Well....they are.  Trust me, I have pictures to prove it! 

See? 

I love talking about pop culture, in case you didn’t already know.  I love, love, love pop culture.  If pop culture had a face, I’d lick it.  I have no shame.  And yes, I read the gossip magazines.  Again, no shame.  I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly to balance out the loss of IQ points due to my subscription to US Weekly. 

I enjoy reading, so if you have any recommendations, let me hear it.  Before you ask, yes, I’ve read the Twilight series and I’m neither Team Edward nor am I Team Jacob.  I only read the first one out of sheer curiosity and the need to know what all the fuss was about.  I read the rest of the series because I needed to know if it was possible for the characters to get more obnoxious.  They did. 

The same sort of curiosity is how I got roped into reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  I’ll be honest, the first one was good, but if the author hadn’t died so suddenly, I just don’t think anyone would have been so interested.  It was good enough that I read The Girl Who Played With Fire, and I have to admit that it’s got me hooked.  I’ve just finished The Help and just got a notice from the library that Tim Gunn is there waiting for me.  Unfortunately, NOT the real thing.  Oh, how I adore him.  Nope, just his book.  Gunn’s Golden Rules:  Life’s Little Lessons for Making It Work. 

I’m pretty addicted to true crime shows (First 48, Forensic Files, and The Investigators are all great when you’re up in the middle of the night with a baby!), reality TV (Project Runway, The Rachel Zoe Project and Big Brother are favorites) and paranormal TV - GhostHunters, Ghost Adventures, and Paranormal State (not really great when you're up in the middle of the night with a baby.).  I’ve recently discovered Modern Family and have DVR’d every episode of Hawaii Five-O (but have only watched two of them so far).  I also DVR reruns of 90210 and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (shhh – don’t’ tell anyone!).

We just had a pretty awesome holiday season that started with a trip to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving.  My first time home for a holiday since 2005 and the FIRST EVER Thanksgiving in Oklahoma for the kiddos.  Christmas, of course, went by way too fast.  And now, here we are already into the New Year.  I can hardly believe that another year is gone and a new one has begun. 

Hope the holidays treated you well and that the New Year has many good things in store!